From Fights to Finance: Navigating Money Talks as a Team
Great news for those who believe in love: The bond between most couples remains robust when discussing finances.
A recent study found that about 70% of partners rate their communication about finances as very good or exceptional. A significant portion of couples collaborate on both daily financial choices and long-term goals like retirement.
Effective communication serves as a cornerstone for enduring relationships and correlates with heightened financial security. Couples who talk well are more likely to feel good about their money and expect a comfortable retirement.
However, if you and your partner aren't entirely aligned on financial matters, you're not alone. Lots of couples struggle to talk about money, with almost 20% saying it's their biggest relationship issue. Developing strong communication habits can enhance your financial discussions and joint decision-making.
Whether you and your partner agree on money or not, here are tips to improve how you talk about finances together.
Put all the Cards on the Table
While concealing financial information may provide temporary relief from uncomfortable discussions, it ultimately undermines trust and hinders effective communication over time.
Be open and honest about your finances in your relationship. Share details like debts, assets, income, and expenses to build trust and transparency. Engaging in this practice, even in longstanding relationships, can catalyze improved financial communication and set a precedent for honesty.
Both Should Have Equal Access to Accounts
Make sure both of you can easily access your financial information. You can do this by sharing passwords or keeping statements easily available. This will help create a culture of openness in your relationship.
Even if one partner usually handles specific financial matters, strive for mutual understanding of the fundamentals and familiarity with accessing essential documents and accounts. This not only promotes financial empowerment for both individuals but also ensures preparedness in case of unforeseen circumstances. (Learn further on safeguarding your family if you're the primary financial decision-maker.)
Choose Time, Place and Agenda Carefully
Talking about money when you're tired, rushed, or distracted probably won't lead to good outcomes. Allocate a dedicated time slot for your financial check-in to ensure undivided attention to the issues at hand. Choose a day and time when you both feel alert and focused, in a setting conducive to privacy and devoid of interruptions.
Preparing an agenda beforehand can help you establish the purpose of the conversation and maintain focus. For example, you might have to look at costs from last month or quarter, or plan for a big upcoming buy. Rather than rushing to tackle every item on your decision-making list in one go, consider establishing a regular weekly or monthly "money date" to cultivate a habit of collaborative financial management.
Focus on Shared Goals
Divergent financial habits or values are a common occurrence among couples. One partner may lean towards thriftiness while the other embraces spontaneous spending. Similarly, one may be comfortable with investment risks while the other prefers a more conservative approach.
Rather than allowing these differences to create conflict, maintain focus on your overarching financial objectives. Setting goals like saving for retirement, paying for kids' education, or reducing debt can bring people together. This alignment can facilitate agreement on the everyday financial strategies necessary to achieve these objectives.
Be Open About Your Concerns
While it's important to acknowledge and accommodate differences, it doesn't imply that you should suppress concerns. A study discovered that 23% of partners frequently feel frustrated by their significant other's money habits. However, they choose to ignore these habits in order to maintain peace in the relationship.
Avoiding conflict may seem like a quick fix, but it can cause resentment later on. It can also lead to financial problems if your partner's habits are serious. Discussing difficult topics in a positive and respectful manner can benefit your relationship in the future.
It is important to address challenging issues rather than ignoring them. By openly communicating about tough issues, you can strengthen your bond with your partner. Avoiding difficult conversations may lead to misunderstandings and resentment in the long term.
When in Doubt, Get More Information
When making a big money choice, you and your partner might disagree. This could be about buying something expensive, deciding how to support your kids financially, or choosing a new job.
Rather than immediately taking opposing stances, take the time to gather more information. Revisit the numbers multiple times and consider different scenarios. Reflect on how this decision aligns with your overarching goals.
After investing more time in deliberation, you may discover that you both end up on the same page after all.
Consider Hiring a Financial Advisor
Engaging a financial professional can offer several advantages for the financial well-being of your relationship. They can assist each of you in identifying individual goals and collaboratively prioritize them. They can help you create a plan for investing, budgeting, and managing debt that fits both partners' preferences. This plan will help you reach your goals.
Bottom Line
Undoubtedly, communication is multifaceted, and resolving issues isn't always straightforward nor universally applicable. If you encounter persistent challenges in discussing finances (or communication in general), persevere and experiment to discover the approach that works best for you. The payoff of a fortified financial base—and a more resilient bond—is invaluable.
Sources:
https://www.fidelity.com/learning-center/personal-finance/communication-tips-couples
Disclosures:
This information is an overview and should not be considered as specific guidance or recommendations for any individual or business.
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